My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
