i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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