he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
