at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
