we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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