My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Randomize
