we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
