FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
