he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
