it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
