I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
