Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
