OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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