I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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