He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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