dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
