i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
