No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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