I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
