Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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