I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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