I can text with my tongue
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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