Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
