Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
