who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
