So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
