Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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