Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
actually, I'm a sock model
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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