Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
