We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
