I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i will never coherently bang her
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
