When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
