You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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