I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
