I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They have beer where we have blood.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
