So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
