Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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