I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
