I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
