I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
