How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
