O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
