This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
