I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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