Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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