the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
ok first of all what the fuck
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
