love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
