hell yes lets make some ravioli
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
