is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
