yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
