Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
